Parent Night at Rel Community

This past month we decided to do something different at Rel Community for one Sunday night. We invited all of the parents to come with their students. We were motivated by our desire to team up with parents in ministry, and our desire to encourage them in the day in and day out challenge they have raising up their kids in the way they should go. Still, we didn't know exactly what the response would be. We put a high value on supporting parents from our student ministry and community so we decided it was something we had to do.

So we put announcements in the bulletin, the e-newsletter, and spent a whole month announcing it to students and giving them take home cards to give to their parents. We prayed a lot that parents would show up. We also prayed that it would be an encouraging time for our parents and our group leaders.

I can't speak for everyone on the Student Ministry team, but I for one was pretty nervous about the Parent night for a couple of reasons. First off, there is unfounded, but pretty inherit fear that most Student Ministers have of parents. I know it is pretty ridiculous, but I'm guessing that its the same kind of feeling that teachers get at times at Parent and Teacher Conferences. It only takes a few times of getting blindsided by a parent to get a little bit apprehensive. Student Ministers and Volunteers spend so much time and passion investing in students' lives, and sometimes parents will unsuspectingly blow us out of the water. It doesn't happen all the time, but it definitely happens, and the scars we get from us can easily affect how we interact with other parents. So not only was I nervous that some of our group leaders would get hurt by a well-intentioned parents words, I also had another fear. I was worried that students would choose not to come because they didn't want their parents to be there.

I spent the week leading up to Parent Night giving my fears up to God and joining other Student Ministry Team Members in prayer for the night. What God did on Parent night was incredible. We had over 35 parents show up and take part in the evening. Not only that, but we also had over 70 students there that evening. Not only did they show up, but everyone participated in the evening's events. We played a HUGE game of Parents vs. Students Dodgeball and nearly everyone played. After that our students taught their moms and dads the Cupid Shuffle, and everyone had a blast!

For our group time that evening we split up our group leaders. Half of them went with their normal group of students, and the other half went to meet with their group's parents. In our parent group time we got to know everyone, shared our biggest fear for our sons and daughters, shared our kids biggest successes, and really just tried to encourage the parents in their God-given role. We ended the night by praying for each other in our circles. It was truly incredible.

One of my favorite parts though was what happened afterwords. I kept getting approached by parents and by group leaders who wanted to say how much they enjoyed getting a chance to interact with each other. Group leaders said they loved hearing form the parents, and the parents kept thanking the group leaders for what they did. On the way home from Rel Community that night I got two phone calls. One was from a group leader. I was worried that someone had said something hurtful or something like that. That wasn't the case at all. They were just calling to say how much fun being with the parents had been. The other call was from a parent. They wanted to let me know how blessed they were to have a ministry for their kids that also wanted to help and encourage the parents. What a blessing those two phone calls were!

Its been a couple weeks since Parent night, and everybody already wants to do something like it again. I talked to some mom's who were at the church the other day, and they said they could hardly wait until they got the chance to come again. I asked them if it would be hard giving up a Sunday evening to come to more Parent Nights. They didn't even hesitate. They said they would be there in a heartbeat. I think God's trying to tell our Student Ministry something. We have loved working alongside of parents, and we are definitely going to be making more opportunities to do it more!

Here is a video to give you a little taste of what the evening's activities were like:

Please Pray For Our Students and Leaders This Weekend

Prayer Guide:

One of the biggest parts of anything we do in Student Ministry is Prayer. This weekend we have a great group of students and leaders heading up to Woodland Lakes Christian Camp to have a blast and go deeper in the spiritual walk with God.  Let’s all take an active role in this retreat by spending time both now and this weekend praying for our students, leaders, and the other churches attending this retreat.

In Ephesians, Paul talks a few times about praying for other believers. Here are a couple of examples:

Ephesians 1:16

I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.

Ephesians 6:18

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Here are a couple of things we can be praying about:

1. Our Students- pray that they would be attentive this weekend. That God would give them open eyes and ears, and soft hearts. We want them to be comfortable enough to talk about their faith and the questions they have. We also want them to feel challenged to share God’s love with those around them.

2. Our Leaders- they are giving up a lot of sleep and one whole weekend to invest in our students. Pray that God would bless them with whatever energy or focus they need to be present in every moment this weekend. Also be praying that they are filled up with God’s Spirit so He can overflow into the lives of the students around them.

3. The Speakers and Worship Leaders- Pray that they would lead us deeper into our commitment to Christ. That it wouldn’t be a show or a look how cool I am moment, but instead it would be a sharing of God’s truth and a celebration of all He has done for us.

4. Our Students lives after the Retreat- Pray that the things they learn and the changes they want to make last. It is hard after a retreat like this to explain what you learned or what you want to do. You go back to school and try to tell your friends about it, and its just difficult. As they get back into the swing of day to day life it’s difficult to keep things fresh with God sometimes too. Pray that God’s Spirit equips them for the journey ahead.

5. Our role as parents and leaders in students’ lives- We all have a huge role in what we just prayed about for our students. It’s hard for them to make the decisions they make at a weekend retreat stick sometimes. It is our job as parents, leaders, and friends of these students to not just encourage them in those good choices, but support them in achieving them. Pray that we would clearly see our role in that process and that we would serve in that role with a passion.

Don’t forget to thank God in advance for all the good he has done in our lives, and the good things we haven’t even realized He is going to do through us.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Check out this article from CNN.COM that is a collection of little white lies that parents have told their kids. No worries this isn't some set-up for a convo about white lies. Everybody loves shows like Kids Say the Darndest Things and this article is just kind of the Parent version of that.

Pretty funny stuff too:
White Lies We've Told Our Kids


I think my favorite from the article is:
Before moving into our house, I told my kids that we paid extra to have it sprayed for ghosts.
--Amy Talcott Kennard; Peoria, Illinois

How about you Moms and Dads? What are some of the 'white lies' you have told your kids? The best comment on this post after a week will get a free Rel Community or Isaiah117Challenge T-Shirt.

(Just to get you all thinking, when I was a kid I wrote a letter to my favorite singer. My mom wrote a fake letter back pretending it was from the singer's mom. I totally believed it was really his mom too. I fell for it hook line and sinker...)

Part One: Are We Talking About the Same Person?

We have all seen it before. We will be watching some sitcom on TV. Two of the characters will have a complete conversation about two COMPLETELY different people. The comedic effect? Both characters think they are talking to about the same person. The conversation goes on to the point that your sides hurt from laughter. Finally, they realize that something isn't quite right. In unison they exclaim, "Are we talking about the same person?"

This past week an article written by John Blake from CNN was put up on their website and went all over internet in an instant. There is no question in my mind that it was the biggest piece written about the faith and beliefs of teenagers all year. Blake discussed a topic that has been the main point of discussion in nearly every Student Ministers' circle I am a part of. We are all talking about the growing reality that when we talk about God with students, we might not be talking about the same person. The same is true when we talk about living your faith in your everyday life. We keep asking the question, "Are we talking about the same thing?"

I have included some quotes from the article to hopefully get you interested in reading the whole article on CNN's website. I would love for you to take the time to read the article and post your thoughts on this blog. My next post or two will be my thoughts on this growing reality. As Christ followers we need to look at what is causing students to be 'pseudo' Christians, and what God is calling us to do in response. So go ahead and read the article and let me know your thoughts.

Quotes from CNN's article Almost Christian by John Blake

• ...more American teenagers are embracing what she calls "moralistic therapeutic deism." Translation: It's a watered-down faith that portrays God as a "divine therapist" whose chief goal is to boost people's self-esteem.
• (Kenda Creasy) Dean is a minister, a professor at Princeton Theological Seminary and the author of "Almost Christian," a new book that argues that many parents and pastors are unwittingly passing on this self-serving strain of Christianity.
• The study, which included in-depth interviews with at least 3,300 American teenagers between 13 and 17, found that most American teens who called themselves Christian were indifferent and inarticulate about their faith.
• Many teenagers thought that God simply wanted them to feel good and do good -- what the study's researchers called "moralistic therapeutic deism."
• Dean, a United Methodist Church minister who says parents are the most important influence on their children's faith, places the ultimate blame for teens' religious apathy on adults.
• "If teenagers lack an articulate faith, it may be because the faith we show them is too spineless to merit much in the way of conversation," wrote Dean, a professor of youth and church culture at Princeton Theological Seminary.
• She says parents who perform one act of radical faith in front of their children convey more than a multitude of sermons and mission trips

Sweet Sixteen Party Turns Sour

The article below is about a 'riot' or 'disturbance' that happened last night at a Club in Cincinnati. The whole situation doesn't surprise me at all. Read the article first and then bounce back to the top to see my thoughts. I think what is interesting was seeing how the adults talked about the whole situation in the article. Here are my thoughts:

• Why in the world is a 16 year old girl's parents renting out Metropolis for their daughter's b-day party? (Metropolis' Website) I mean take one look at the website and tell me that is the kind of place where you want your baby girl to celebrate her coming of age. This is just one example of a bigger problem. It's not normal to rent a club for your daughter that just happens to also have Chippendale Performers there at a different time in the year.
  
• The thing I am least surprised by is the crowd showing up. You can't keep anything a secret with current technology. Even if students weren't inviting their friends by text, you can bet a lot of them were updating their Twitter's and Facebook statuses letting people know that they were at Metropolis (which any other night would be an 18 and up club).
• Another thing that didn't surprise me is that parents just dropped their students off at Metropolis and just left. It might surprise you to hear that a parent would take their teenage son or daughter to a club and leave them at the door, but from my time in student ministry, parents dropping students off like this is more normal than I'd like to admit.
• Finally, 2 things that I think are really telling. First off, the line in the story saying that the teens were worse to deal with than the adults. I laughed out loud when I read it. In America Teen's are the big spenders and make most of the big spending decisions in their families today. Why does it surprise us to find out their are difficult to deal with in these situations? Why in the world would they feel so entitled (a little sarcasm in that last line).
  
• The last thing that was so telling was that the owner of Metropolis REFUNDED the parents money for the evening. In his opinion the family was the victim that night and their night was ruined. I really don't think the club should have ever rented out their facility for an underage event no matter how big the check was. Still, how did the parents ever think this was a good idea?

Read the article below and realize that this is just one example of what is happening on a much larger scale all across the US. We are enabling our students to 'play' grown-up way to early in their development, and feeding a huge sense of entitlement as well. Pretty interesting stuff.

Article from cincinnati.com

FAIRFIELD – A Sweet 16 party at Metropolis night club turned sour Tuesday evening when an estimated 1,500-2,000 teenagers showed up for the private party meant for just 80-100 people.

Those invited to the party began telling their friends through text messages and Facebook posts that the club was holding a free teen night, said Fairfield police Sgt. Don Garrett.

“It got out of control fast,” Garrett said. “I don’t think they expected the electronic deluge.”

Club security turned the teens without invitations away. Many, stranded without rides, hung out in the parking lot. Others became belligerent, police said.

Crowds of teenagers were mulling around the parking lot about 8:15 p.m. when gunshots were heard somewhere in the crowd.

The few police officers scheduled to patrol the party called for backup. At some point pepper balls were shot at the ground to corral the crowd, which began rushing into the mall, across busy Winton Road, even running over the highway overpass to the shopping centers across busy Interstate 275.

In the mayhem, one teen fell over the side of the parking garage to the lower level, but was not seriously hurt, Garrett said.

After rushing from Cincinnati Mills, large groups of teens began hanging out in parking lots at McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Chipotle, Old Spaghetti Factory, BW3 and gas stations. BP turned out its lights to deter the teens from hanging out around the station.

Hundreds of people walked the area on both sides of Winton Road, which runs past the mall.

Police from countless agencies continued looking for a possible shooter and afraid that fights could begin rushed to and from large crowds.

Several officers carried pepper ball guns and police canines sniffed out the area.

The last large group was dispersed just before 10 p.m. at the Kroger store on the corner of Winton and West Kemper roads.

Club owner Mike Strait was shocked by the evening and said he had already reimbursed the family that had rented this club for their daughter’s party.

“It’s harder to deal with them (teens) than adults,” said Strait, who has owned Metropolis since May 2005. “When they were told it was a private party, they were not happy.”

There were no injuries and it appears there were no arrests.

Work, Life and Parenting: The Ultimate Juggling Act

The Anderson Area Chamber of Commerce is holding an event for Parents this October 27 at 7PM. It is called Work, Life, and Parenting. I have talked with one of the planners and they are very excited about all they have lined up. Here are some of the people that will be sharing:

• David Brewer, Beech Acres Parenting Center
• Sherry Gibson, a senior Executive in the banking industry
• Sharon Guard, Director of Family Ministry at Anderson Hills United Methodist Church

This looks like it will be a very beneficial thing. I am not even a parent, but I am planning on going. I think it will be valuable. Maybe you should check it out too. If you are interested let me know. Afterwards if any one is interested we can all go grab some Graeters or some dessert somewhere else and talk about what the speakers said.

Ever Felt Like You Needed a Translator?

How many conversations have you had, where one party feels misunderstood, and the other party is convinced that the other isn't speaking English?

Free Chick-Fil-A

I have the perfect place for all of you to eat as a family this Labor Day... That's right free food from Chick-fil-a! If you wear any sports logo into any location after 10:30am on this coming Monday, and you will get a free Chicken Sandwhich.

I'll definitely be going there for at least one meal that day.. who knows maybe too. Take advantage of this awesome FREE FOOD MOMENT!

Family Web Monitoring Service

Every now and then I come across something that catches my attention because it is different. The new web filtering software from Norton Anti Virus that they have made for families definitely qualified as different.

It's called OnlineFamily.Norton and here is what makes it different. Most web filters prevent people from accessing certain types of material (violence, videos, music, adult content). The filter acts as a fence that keeps children safe. The sad thing is that the filters tend to be hit and miss. Not only will they not stop things that they should, but they also tend to block a great deal of acceptable material. Norton has taken a little bit of a different angle. Their web filter won't necessarily block anything, but it does keep a record of all the sites that have been viewed as well as how long different users spent online. Thats still not what caught my attention.

Parents are given control over how much time students are allowed to be online for homework or for fun, and also lets them set parameters for what type of content is ok to access. When a restricted website is accessed, the filter will notify the parent by email, and let the student know that a guideline has been broken. At that point the student can include the reason the rule was broken in the automated email that will be sent to the parent. The whole goal of the software is to all parents to be aware of what all their son our daughter is into. I think they are doing it in a unique way. Check it out because it looks like a great resource.