Spring and Fall Olympics: For the Common Man

My friends and I had the idea that their should be Olympic Games during the odd years either in the spring or fall. We really cracked ourselves up with the idea, but for the rest of the night it really started growing on us. Here are some of the events that we think would become a staple.

Corn Hole: We believe that it is an outrage that it has been snubbed by the Summer Olympics.

Football: This would obviously be a fall event. We decided that every country besides America would be allowed to have 5 Americans whose names sound foreign. For example, Pierre Thomas could play for France and Chad Ochocinco would play for Mexico. We also think it would be wise for Peyton Manning to be All Time Quarterback.

Trick or Treat-a-Thon: Yet another Fall Event. This would really get good ratings. Competitors would run a normal marathon but recquired to wear a costume and collect 5 pounds of candy, and consume at least 2 pounds of it before crossing the finish line. The sugar crashes before people finished the race would make for epic viewing.

Attic/Garage Cleaning: This would be a spring event that would be both an individual sport and a couples event. The difficulty level would go up if cleaning included the crawl space or if either spouses' inlaws were present at the event.

Leaf Raking: this would be split into two events. A speed event as well as an artistic event. It could possibly even be expanded into Synchronized Raking, but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Puddle Jumping: Honestly, who didn't just think to themselves, "I think I could win this event?"

Mud Greco-Roman Wrestling: This spring event would become even more interesting if we hid a few alligators in the mud bog.

Black Friday Shopping: This would be a controversial Fall Event. It would be pretty gruesome as well. I can just see the East Germany Athletes juicing up for this event.

Allergy Shot Put: Athletes would be given a Shot Put covered in all sorts of pollen, mold and other allergens. The athlete would then have to toss the shot put as far as possible without sneezing. A foul would be called on every sneeze and would disqualify the throw. We will need some time to develop a way to test to see if athletes are on Zyrtec or Nasonex.

We are still trying to think of good locations for the Spring and Fall Olympics, but we know for sure Chicago is not an option. Maybe someplace like Boston for the fall games. The opening ceremonies for the games could be held on the same day as the time changes. It would be easier to remember to spring forward or fall back an hour if Bob Costas reminded us as we watched 300 trained dancers form a huge moving spring flower.

This is just the begining though. There is so much we could do with this. What have we not thought of?